I was diagnosed with major depression at age 12, and then diagnosed with bipolar disorder at age 14. I was prescribed a lot of medication, and high school wasn’t easy for me.
My family had a hard time understanding what I was going through. I wanted to drop out of high school at 16 but instead did homebound cyber school and two different alternative schools. I was able to obtain a high school diploma.
I tried college twice, once when I was 19 and again at 20, but the whole thing was overwhelming and I only completed a few classes.
I have always been socially awkward and have had a really hard time making and keeping friends. I started cutting when I was 22. It was my way of coping.
I stopped taking my medication at age 24 for a period of about three to four months. At first I thought I was doing really good and thought I was thinking clearly. Certain circumstances came into play and, long story short, I came very close to ending my life. Luckily, I was given a second chance at life.
I checked myself into the hospital voluntarily and spent about 12 days in there. I stayed that long to get my body stabilized due to the effects of my suicide attempt.
A year after that episode, I was living a decent life in spite of dealing with med adjustments.
Recently, I started college again and I have a 3.2 GPA, which I never could have dreamed was possible. I have a long road ahead of me to reach my goal of being off disability and becoming a career woman.
I have not cut in about two years. Things are going well for me. I have a fiancé.
I can say I am happy.
It has been a long road of struggles for me to get here and to be stable. I have to monitor my medications and have a structured sleep schedule. This life is not easy but I have a great doctor, great support system and goals.
Life is good. I’m happy for this second chance.
If you feel like you are in a crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).